You are cordially invited to join my Bliss Quest.

It is partly inspired by the fact that I live in a city with some of the most dismal statistics in the country. Highest crime, highest unemployment rate, highest number of children in poverty, most segregated…

Every time I turn on the news, something makes me want to hide under the bed and cover my ears. In fact, when suburban mom Tara Grant was dismembered by her husband last spring, I went on a news “diet.” That means I quit watching, reading and listening to news, cold turkey, for a month or so. I have a master’s degree in journalism, and I love news, but I couldn’t take it any more. It was just too much of a daily downer.

Personally, I have experienced some extreme emotional highs and lows — from the bliss of national TV appearances, becoming a mother and being a published author — to the abysmal angst of post-divorce discord, the death of my father when I lived in New York, and horrific headaches (years ago).

From this, I learned that when you’re down, you can wallow in it and allow disappointment, fear and worry to cast a cynical cloud over everything and everyone. You can let it paralyze you and poison your health, your work, your relationships.

Or you can climb up and out. You may have to grunt and groan, huff and puff, to pull yourself up to a better place. But you can do it.

I did it. And I feel better than ever! Right now, as I sit at my desk overlooking the nighttime downtown skyline, I feel like I can reach out and grab a million diamonds that are the sparkling lights on the high-rise buildings. This is metaphoric, of course, to express how the world is literally shimmering with opportunities and treasures.

And they’re ours for the taking.

How? One word: ACTION!

“The world owes you nothing,” my mother said. “You have to go out there and make it take notice!”

Or in the words of a great book I’m reading by Amy Dubois Barnett, “Get Yours! The Girlfriends’ Guide to Having Everything You Ever Dreamed of And More.”

You can do that with action. And once you get the momentum going, magic happens. While I have always envisioned grandeur for my life, and achieved many amazing goals, the past several months have inspired ever-higher levels of ambition, more opulent visions, a more focused sense of purpose and what’s necessary to maximize my most awesome potential. At first, it’s overwhelming, like, “Where do I start?”

But, amazingly, the first action requires no movement at all.

Because you have to change your mind. To change the course of your life, you have to first DECIDE that you want better. Then ENVISION what you want. Sometimes that’s fuzzy. And it’s even more frustrating if you don’t know what you want. As long as you know you want a new and improved version of your daily reality, that’s a great place to start. Things will come into focus when you take action.

This mental action can move mountains and shower you with riches. If you’ve read or watched The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, you know that the “law of attraction” is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. So once you set your mind to something, all that you need will be delivered effortlessly, if you believe in your vision.

My vision is Bliss.

Because I want it, believe I deserve it, and am actively seeking it — it is showing up, every day!

Just a few examples from the past week: I got notice that the BET show “Meet the Faith” that I taped in NYC last March, is going to air tomorrow, headlined by an interview with Presidential Hopeful Barack Obama. The show features my second book, Dark Secret, as I talk about the phenomenon of “passing for white.” On Tuesday, I moderated Other People’s Skin: A Panel Discussion with co-author Desiree Cooper, Psychologist Dr. Gail Parker and Activist Lila Cabbil. Based on our new book with the same title, the event attracted a dynamic audience for a powerful dialogue about race. Thursday, I enjoyed a wonderful booksigning at a popular downtown restraurant.

None of these magic moments occur when I’m thinking negatively, wallowing in cynicism or forgetting to focus on bliss. As soon as I switch my brain to the happier channel, boom! The phone rings, amazing emails arrive, and cool new people show up to share smiles, laughter and happiness.

And today is another wonderful example of Life serving up this decadent Bliss that I ordered.

My secret? Savoring the sensory extravaganza of simple pleasures.

Like reading a great book last night until I fell into a serene slumber, then waking up well-rested and peaceful after a warp-speed week.

Focusing on these thoughts formed a plexiglass bubble over the onslaught of worries that tried bombard my brain. I could have dwelled on the super-stressful moments yesterday afternoon that clenched my muscles with tension. I could have looked toward the upcoming Christmas holiday with the same dread that inspired me, a few years ago, to check into the Ritz — by myself — for luxurious solitude during the days made for family celebrations. And upon waking this morning, I could have lamented about what I don’t have.

No, not today. My commitment to Bliss enabled me to instead savor my steaming bowl of oatmeal before indulging in TWO back-to-back spinning classes at my health club.

Whew!

EUPHORIA! As my legs pumped the pedals to the blasting beat of the music, endorphins gushed through every cell. Heart pounding, lungs taking in tons of oxygen, sweat pouring… love it!

Now, riding an exercise bike for two hours may sound like sheer torture to you. But the key to finding your bliss is to do what you love. My mother finds paradise in the lumber-scented aisles of Home Depot as she’s buying supplies for her latest home improvement project. My sister gets so excited about gardening that she takes pictures of weeds that she yanked up, and emails them to me! Neither wielding a power drill nor toiling in soil get me excited. But once I lace up my Nikes, look out!

After class, in dry clothes, I enjoyed another pleasure: buying a ridiculous amount of fresh fruits and vegetables for just $15 at Eastern Market. At this urban produce bonanza, I purchased amazing oranges, green beans, squash, tomatoes and broccoli. The diversity of the bustling crowd, the scent of fresh-cut Christmas trees, and the gritty, urban feel of the huge barn-like building inspired a sense of adventure. And the delicious salad that I created when I got home made it all the more wonderful.

Then I did some writing and, when all that spinning caught up with me, I took the best nap!

It’s Saturday, and of course, every day does not lend itself to such leisure. Stress happens. Annoying people are part of our lives. And sometimes we just feel downright bad.

But if you join my Bliss Quest, you’ll find that you’re so busy enjoying life on a whole new level, and being wowed by the magic moments that keep happening, you’ll become immune…

So come on! And remember what the American writer Joseph Campbell said: “Follow your bliss!”

Posted: December 9th, 2007 under The Bliss Report.
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