I woke this morning feeling energetic, optimistic, clear-minded, ready to charge into a creative and productive day. That’s the opposite of how I’ve been feeling. Yesterday when I sat down my write, my brain was a billowy fog… a run-away freight train of worries blew more smoke to obscure my thoughts… an intangible yuckiness burned like red embers at the bottom of my mind. Then, feeling unfocused, unproductive and inattentive made me feel worse. And I wasn’t alone. My mother had a miserable cold. My son had a moment of teary, intangible angst (turns out he was tired and hungry). Last night, all I could eke out of my writer’s workshop was the blurb about the music festival. And my eyelids barely stayed up to write the last line—I zonked out immediately thereafter. The cool thing about this blurry-brained episode was—it ended just as quickly! In the past, I would spiral down into The Abyss where all the negativity would explode out of control for days or weeks. I’d probably eat ice cream or candy, feeling worse not only then but the next day or even weeks. But thankfully, with all the “Bliss Work” that I do on myself, I bounce right back up into a sunnier disposition. That’s exactly how I felt this morning when my brain defaulted back to its 24-hour motivation station that broadcasts self-fulfilling scenarios of myself writing, working out, feeling great and creating wonderful moments all day long.  My mother feels better. My son is having fun. And all this puts me in a spirit of gratitude saying, “Thank you for a better day!” I’m lovin’ My Daily Bliss. I hope you find yours on this lovely Memorial Day, too. Celebrate!

Posted: May 26th, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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It sounds like a zillion giant horses are galloping through the city as I sit here at my desk before midnight. The city skyline looks peaceful and pretty. But that unrelenting beat is both ominous and festive. It’s ominous because it’s so deep, like thunderous pounding. It’s festive if you like electronic music, or the idea that thousands of people are gathering to celebrate it here in Detroit, coming from Europe and other far-away places to party to that high-tech beat. I love that the crowd at the riverside Hart Plaza is beautifully diverse. I marveled at all the folks dancing in the sunshine this afternoon as my son and I enjoyed a dinner cruise on the old-fashioned riverboat that docked behind the concert. As loud and fierce as the music was, however, it lulled us both to sleep as we sat on the sunny upper deck, awaiting the start of the cruise. How odd, I thought, that such a roar could be so calming. The bass beat that is the basis for all the electronically generated music actually has a numbing effect. Wow, it just stopped (I think the event ends at midnight). What an awesome reminder that our city is celebrating a great renaissance… blasting a beat through the streets… bringing Bliss to music lovers from around the globe.

Posted: May 26th, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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I should’ve been mad that I drove there to find a near-empty auditorium. Rather than the standing-room only crowds that my HOW TO WRITE A BOOK AND GET PUBLISHED workshops normally draw, one lady sat chatting on a cell phone. The minutes ticked by. Nobody else showed up.

So I wasn’t going to stand up on the stage and do what I love to do so much — speak for two hours about living the dream of writing and publishing a book. But I wasn’t mad. Because I sat down to talk with this lady, a social worker named Darlene, and she told the most beautiful story about the book she’s writing. She expressed herself with such humble authenticity, and such eloquent but simple language — I was mesmerized. For a moment, she was the one schooling me. Tears stung my eyes; a shiver of recognition indicated I was “feeling” her story by reliving some of my own powerful memories as she spoke.

And that’s the key to great storytelling. Rousing an emotional response in your audience. That’s the secret to success for any book. Tonight, Darlene made an emotional imprint on me and reminded me just how powerful and beautiful storytelling can be.

So I reciprocated with a personal workshop tailored to her book. I went through my “10 Steps to Getting Published” as she scribbled to record the knowledge that will someday put a book—her book—in her hands. I never thought to cancel the event and leave, or withhold information to save time. Within an hour, she was beaming, fired up to go home and write her blockbuster. I was thrilled to inspire that in her, and that I would have extra time to hit the gym for an unexpected, muscle-pumping sweatfest in the weight room.

Meanwhile, I thought about The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you wish others to do unto you. And Dr. Tony Alessandra’s Platinum Rule: Treat others as they wish to be treated. All that played out this evening as I interacted with Darlene. And it came naturally.

The disappointment of the non-crowd actually became delightful, because I found my Daily Bliss in giving.

Posted: May 22nd, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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Looking for love? Make sure your mate meets this requirement: he or she should share inherently unique experiences with you so that you can talk about certain issues with an honesty and understanding that nobody else would “get.”

I realized that during a really cool conversation with The Man of My Dreams. He and I are so much alike — we say “spiritual twins” instead of “soul mate” — that we understand and appreciate each other on levels that few others would grasp. Sometimes the bond is so common and so deep that words need not be spoken. Instead, a single glance speaks volumes about what we might try to say. Or a simple phrase might sum up a textbook’s worth of explanations.

My point? Settle for nothing less than the magic of this soul-deep connection. Sure, it’s rare. Of course it’s hard to find. But if you believe that your spiritual twin is out there looking for you, then keep searching until you find him or her. Refuse to settle for anything less. Go without a mate if necessary. But know that somewhere in the world, a man or woman exists who’s just like you—who views life, love and the world through the same lens of humor or cynicism or fascination. So you should hold out on committing yourself until you meet that person. Despite lonely years of sadness, aloneness and fear that I might never find Mr. Right, I held out until I did. Now, enjoying a profound, soul-deep connection that requires few words of explanation, makes every grueling moment worth the wait. So be patient. Hold out for the best. And Find Your Daily Bliss in no one less magical than your spiritual twin.

Posted: May 22nd, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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I blasted a huge hole in the man’s chest—on the paper target. It’s hanging near my desk, inspiring wide-eyed stares from cousins and friends who visit. That gaping hole in the heart of the imaginary offender reminds me every day of the triumphant moments I enjoyed during my very first visit to the gun range.

As the .38 Special and Glock fired, I stared through the viewfinders, breathed deeply with my feet shoulder-width apart — and thought about the teenaged neighbor who molested me with I was 5 years old. That target was him; the holes that I blew through his chest were my revenge for years of terror every night as a little girl. Terror that if I had told my parents, they would have killed him. Terror that something like that could happen again. Terror that people like him—and the Oakland County Child Killer who was on his rampage when I was a child in Oak Park—found their life’s Bliss by tormenting and killing.

These thoughts enabled me to aim with perfect precision as I blasted bullets through the chest of the target. It’s taped on the wall within my view as I sit and write, so I’m reminded of the power that I felt there at Target Sports. It’s phenomenal! Learning to use a gun—from a trained professional—is something that everyone should do. It demystifies the weapon, and empowers you to know that you can protect yourself and your family. As a woman, learning to use a gun and protect myself from predators is one of the most empowering feelings I have ever experienced. I tell all women that they, too, should get instruction on handling and shooting a gun. In a world where an Abyss of violence swirls just beneath the surface of civility, all women should find some Bliss in knowing how to protect themselves…

Posted: May 22nd, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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All alone, all day, here at my computer in the stillness and silence. That’s the reality of a writer’s life. But it’s glorious all the same. Because solitude is a crucial requirement for concentration and productivity. And it helps you appreciate human contact all the more.

Discipline. That’s what it takes to sit here, hours on end, without indulging in some distraction—Oprah, a snack, an errand, a phone call, emails… all that consumes my minutes. Minutes that add up to hours of productivity. Thankfully, I focus with laser sharpness on the writing at hand. Aside from my daily hour of exercise (today it was an awesome bike ride on the RiverWalk), I am all about getting the job done. Not everyone could do this. Because you have to be your own taskmaster. No one’s looking. No one will know if you plop on the couch and watch Jerry Springer or HGTV for an hour or two… or take a nap… or surf the Internet.

But you’ll know. And you’ll feel bad that you squandered all that time, when you could have been creating something entertaining or educational.

Years ago, someone I dated said it drove him crazy to think of me alone all day, free to indulge in whatever activities I chose. I guess it’s logical to let one’s mind jump onto that runaway train of scurrilous imaginings, but the truth of the matter is, I love the written word more than I love the idea of squandering precious time and energy on anything but creating something cool to share with the world. I’d much rather invest time and energy in a story or a character or an outline or some other writing project—than blow off valuable hours that leave me nothing to show for them.

No, writing is a gift. Creativity is a gift. And having the time and opportunity to merge those two gifts to create something phenomenal is the greatest gift of all. So here I sit, all day, all alone, Finding My Daily Bliss in the silence and solitude of a writer’s life. And I loving every second…

Posted: May 22nd, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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What would you do if you knew that you would take your last breath 24 hours from now?

I think about this all the time… and it helps me celebrate and savor Bliss in the NOW. What inspired this mindset was a motivational writing exercise that I was instructed to do—write your obituary so that you can describe your life’s greatest accomplishments, and date the article 40 or 50 or 60 years from now. It’s a pretty powerful thought to consider how you would like your life summed up in 8 inches of newspaper copy! Write it out now… It’s an excellent exercise for quantifying your goals, then making them a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you’re on a shorter deadline, say the next 24 hours, what would you do?

Here’s my Top 10 List:

1. Hug and kiss my little boy and tell him a zillion times, “I love you” and “Thank you for making me happy.” Do the same for my mother, my sister, my man and my close friends.

2. Savor special moments with The Man of My Dreams.

3. Eat my favorite foods, including pecan pie, ice cream and Godiva milk chocolate truffles—things I never eat now.

4. Take lots of happy pictures for my loved ones.

5. Write notes to professors, mentors and friends to thank them for making me who I am.

6. Take a run, a bike ride, a spinning class—to feel strong and unleash a last burst of endorphins.

7. Write to Barack Obama to congratulate him for making history in America.

8. Donate my hair to that charity (Locks of Love?) that makes wigs for kids with cancer.

9. Feel zero moments of regret for the way I lived my life.

10. Throw a party for my friends and family where we drink champagne, celebrate life and love, and indulge in a decadent dinner with dessert. Then dance the night away and know that my sunny spirit will live on to inspire people to follow their dreams.

Thankfully, a long, happy and healthy life is stretching before me. But celebrating each day as if it were our last is an excellent way to savor the now, and Find Your Daily Bliss.

Posted: May 22nd, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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I’m deep in the creative zone, and I must share a powerful secret: You can write a better script for your life. If you hate the scene you’re in right now, then let your imagination run wild. Envision a better day, a better life. That can play out with your job or career… your home… your car… your financial status… your health and fitness… the city or state where you live. Picture it all in your mind. Then write it down. Concentrate on the new scenes that you want to create in your life. See them in color, detailed film strips in your mind. You’ll make magic happen in your life!

Great books that can guide you include The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. These books helped me: shrink off 100 pounds after having my son; be a guest on Oprah; meet The Man of My Dreams; write successful books; prosper; heal ailments; and achieve many other amazing things. Just last week, while scouting locations to film my movie, I called a real estate agent to find the exact house that I need for major scenes. In my mind I envisioned a home that I chose years ago as my ultimate dream home, but I did not mention it to the agent. When he called, however, it was one of three houses that he offered for potential use as my movie location! I was euphoric—because this was another affirmation that the power of visualization manifests in real life.

So today, Find Your Daily Bliss in the workshop of your mind. Rewrite the script of your life into something exciting, adventurous and fulfilling. Then send me a note to share how you made magic happen with your mind!

Posted: May 19th, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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I haven’t eaten peanut butter in a month. My lifelong passion for this sweet, creamy indulgence is rooted in nostalgic memories of my late father handing me a spoonful of Jif as a snack. On outings, he’d pack melt-in-your-mouth peanut butter and butter sandwiches on amazingly mushy white bread. As a teen, after grueling hours of diving practice, I loved calming my grumbling stomach with a peanut butter and banana sandwich on soft wheat bread. Pregnancy only intensified my passion; a good portion of my son’s body was no doubt built on the protein in all those Jif-and-jam sandwiches I devoured. Any other time, a spoon dipped in the jar was the perfect but fattening elixir for stress. And now, it’s my favorite oatmeal topping. But every decadent spoonful has nearly 100 calories, mostly from fat. So it can really add up. Especially when you’re going on a seaside trip wearing belly-baring bathing suits alongside your Man.

So I banished peanut butter and other indulgences. And I felt phenomenal on the trip. As someone who has battled food demons since childhood, I feel better now than ever. I exercise diligently, and follow a strict regimen that makes me feel so great, it’s effortless. Slipping on jeans or shorts or a slinky dress equals absolute Bliss.

What’s this got to do with peanut butter? It’s symbolic. That’s why I’m urging you to give up something today in an effort to reach a goal. Trying to lose weight? Skip the afternoon candy bar. Want to save money? Resist the $4 mochaccino. Writing a book? Turn off your favorite TV show and write. Hoping for a promotion? Spend a lunch hour doing something innovative to impress the boss.

Find Your Daily Bliss by sacrificing something today… so you can celebrate tomorrow!

Posted: May 19th, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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A red velvet rope blocked the cove of cozy couches strewn with satin pillows. Silver stands held champagne bottles; fancy trays offered luxe liqueurs. “Can we sit here?” I asked the super cool host shortly after The Man of My Dreams and I arrived at the beautiful new hotspot Amnesia on the 16th floor of The Motor City Casino. “It’s reserved,” my friend answered, surrounded by stylish men and women, “but you can sit here until they arrive.”

So we cozied into the prime spot on the end of the oversized purple velvet couch. Perfect for watching the beautiful people—who looked more Miami than Motor City—stream past in short dresses, sunglasses (at midnight), and cosmopolitan cool jeans.

The question — Do you bogart into the VIP section or slink away to an ordinary table? This made me think about life: if you think you belong at the proverbial top, you’ll put yourself there. Without hesitation. And you’ll settle for nothing less.

It’s YOUR decision. If you perceive yourself as a Very Important Person, then you’ll act accordingly and command respect. “As you think, so you are,” says the book, As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. Of course, musing about a Saturday night party at a night club might sound trivial. But it’s a microcosm for life. We live in a hierarchy that’s ruled by wealth, beauty, health, power and sex. If you’re a lawyer, you have to think you deserve to be a judge before you can get appointed or elected, and take the bench. If you’re looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, you have to believe that you are entitled to the very best mate, before you can attract him or her. While there’s no shortage of poseurs who perpetrate like they belong at the top, the real cream always rises.

The challenge is knowing that you are the cream, and having the courage to rise. Knowing that you deserve the best career, the best education, the best friends, the best partner, the best of everything that this glorious life offers us every day. Failure to recognize this is a direct route into The Abyss of low self esteem, shame and doubt that will make you miss out on a great life. So next time you’re faced with a question about where you belong, seize the moment for maximum enjoyment. Because you will Find Your Daily Bliss when you realize that you deserve the very best!

Posted: May 19th, 2008 under The Bliss Report.
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